69. Hard Asks Made Easy: The Key to Getting Exactly What You Want
About this episode
Have you ever found yourself hesitating to ask for what you truly want or need? Maybe it's a career opportunity, support in challenging times, or even a simple favor. The power of asking is a skill that transcends personal and professional realms, and in this blog post, we're diving deep into the art of asking with the incredible Laura Fredricks. Laura is not just a fundraising expert but a beacon of wisdom when it comes to the transformative nature of asking.
In a world where we often find ourselves holding back, fearing rejection or judgment, Laura's insights offer a refreshing perspective. This conversation goes beyond fundraising techniques; it's about understanding ourselves, our unique asking styles, and the impact of our requests on both our personal and professional lives. So, are you ready to unlock the door to a more empowered, confident, and transformative you?
The Power of Knowing Yourself
In my conversation with Laura, she emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in the journey of asking. While it's crucial to understand the donor or supporter, knowing oneself lays the foundation for successful requests. As Laura puts it, "you have to know who you are, your style, so that you can use it to your advantage, make some refinements, know your challenges, and go forward."
The Four Asking Types
Laura introduces four distinct asking types: the negotiator, empathizer, presenter, and charmer. Each type brings its unique strengths and challenges. The negotiator excels but must watch their tone, the charmer is charismatic but tends to forget the ask, the presenter talks a lot but forgets to ask, and the empathizer may hesitate due to overthinking. Recognizing your dominant type and leaning can pave the way for refined and effective asking.
Takeaway: Knowing your asking type is the first step in mastering the art. Embrace your strengths, acknowledge your challenges, and watch how your effectiveness soars.
Embracing Honest Communication
In her mantra, "honest wins the day," Laura underlines the significance of transparent communication. Honest conversations not only build trust but also create genuine connections. One of Laura's truisms, "when I don't trust my instincts, I lose." It's a sentiment many of us can relate to—those moments of hindsight when we wish we had listened to our inner voice.
The Impact of Tone
Laura's emphasis on the importance of tone in the asking process is a game-changer. It's not just about what you say but how you say it. A forceful tone, even when confident, can backfire. Softening the approach opens doors and ensures your message is received positively.
Takeaway: Honest communication, coupled with a mindful tone, forms the cornerstone of successful asking. Trust your instincts and let your authenticity shine.
The Art of Asking for Help
In an inspiring revelation, Laura shares that the hardest ask is to ask for help. Many of us grapple with the notion that seeking assistance is a sign of weakness. However, Laura reframes this, highlighting that asking for help is a gift, both to yourself and the person providing support.
The Ripple Effect
Laura beautifully articulates the ripple effect of not asking for help. It goes beyond the immediate request—self-doubt, second-guessing, and a toll on mental and physical well-being. By reaching out, we not only empower ourselves but also create an opportunity for others to feel the joy of giving assistance.
Takeaway: Asking for help is not a weakness; it's a powerful act of self-care. Consider the positive impact your request can have on your well-being and the well-being of those around you.
Empowering the Next Generation
Laura's insights transcend generations, as she shares her encounters with a younger audience hungry for knowledge. In a world where basic skills are making a comeback, the younger generation seeks guidance on how to navigate the nuances of asking, be it in their careers or personal lives.
The Gift of Knowledge
The younger audience realizes the importance of mastering the art of asking, not just in the fundraising or job-seeking context but as a life skill. Laura's observations reveal that they see it as a tool for personal growth and are eager to learn fast. The exchange between generations, passing on the gift of knowledge, is a beautiful testament to the enduring relevance of asking.
Takeaway: Regardless of age, embracing the art of asking is a timeless and invaluable skill. The younger generation sees it not just as a necessity but as a means to empower themselves for a brighter future.
In the tapestry of life, asking is the thread that weaves together empowerment, connection, and transformation. Laura Fredricks, with her wealth of experience, guides us through the intricacies of this art. From knowing ourselves and embracing honest communication to the profound act of asking for help, her insights are a beacon of light in the sometimes complex world of requests.
Inviting Your Thoughts
As we navigate our personal and professional journeys, let's remember that asking is not just about getting what we want; it's about growth, connection, and empowerment. The power to ask lies within each of us, waiting to be unleashed. What are your experiences with the art of asking? How has it transformed your life? Share your thoughts, questions, or insights in the comments below. Let's create a space for meaningful conversations and collective growth.
With boundless gratitude,
Tammy Zonker
Our guest
Laura Fredricks, JD, Author, Keynote Speaker, Consultant, Trainer
“Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it's a demonstration of strength and a path to empowerment.”
Laura Fredricks, JD, Author, Keynote Speaker, Consultant, Trainer
Resources mentioned in this episode
Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want by Laura Fredricks JD
Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek
Connect with our guest online
Twitter / LinkedIn / Instagram / Facebook / YouTube / Website / Contact
Rate, review, and follow on Apple Podcasts
“I love Tammy and The Intentional Fundraiser Podcast” 👈 If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This will enable me to reach more fundraisers — just like you — and help them become better fundraisers, faster. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and tap “Write a Review.” Then, let me know what you liked most about this particular episode or how you find my podcast helpful, valuable, insightful or inspiring in some way.
Subscribe to this podcast
Also, if you haven’t done so already, subscribe to this podcast. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out. Subscribe now!
Connect with Tammy Zonker on social
You can also connect with Tammy on Twitter and Instagram at @tammyzonker, and on LinkedIn.
We can help you take your fundraising results to the next level
To get started, learn more about joining our exclusive Fundraising Transformers Community.
